What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
