the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
