grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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