adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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