so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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