I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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