So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
