I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
