My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
