Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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