i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
