so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
