I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
