eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
