I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sober January is a disaster.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So much rum. So many feels.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
