Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
