Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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