Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
