This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
