I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
