Having a random hookup so left but love u
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
