If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
