her vagine was all disorganized.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
