Small penises have feelings too.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
