If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
