At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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