Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it glows. i had to have it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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