And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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