So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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