is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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