It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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