She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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