she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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