Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
