He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
