Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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