ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
