Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
