Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just invented taco cereal.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
