New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
