is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
