No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
