Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
