Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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