dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
