our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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