I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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