Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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