My nipple is on Facebook.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
