I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
