There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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