Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
