two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
