just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
